neal young / quotes

  • ---------------------

    Why is six afraid of seven?
    Seven eight nine.

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    So this termite walks into a bar and says "Is the bartender here?"

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    I was dating a person with a wooden leg.
    We couldn't work it out so we had to break it off.

    ---------------------

    In one ear and gone tomorrow.

    It's an ill wind that spoils the broth.

    Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows.

    ---------------------

    So, if it is an ox, do we go on by it, or do we go up to it,
    so as to do it in on my ax?

    ---------------------

    "A student came to Wirth and said, `I have this idea for memory
    management. We just store the number of references to each cell of
    memory as the program progresses. When the count for a cell reaches
    zero, the cell may be reclaimed.' Wirth said: `A student came to me
    and said, `I have this idea for memory management...'"

    ---------------------

    "A student was unsuccessfully trying to fix a crashed machine by toggling
    the on-off switch. Minsky apprehended the student, and said `You can't fix
    the machine by just turning it on and off without knowing what you're doing.'
    Minsky reached down and toggled the switch; the machine began working."

    ---------------------

    "Suppose I am arguing with you, and you get the better of me. Does
    the fact that I am not a match for you mean that you are really right
    and I am really wrong? Or if I get the better of you, does the fact
    that you are not a match for me mean that I am really right and you
    are really wrong? Must one of us necessarily be right and the other
    wrong, or may we not both be right or both be wrong? But even if I
    and you cannot come to an understanding, someone else will surely be a
    candle to our darkness. Whom then shall we call in as arbitrator in
    our dispute? If it is someone who agrees with you, the fact that he
    agrees with you makes him useless as an arbitrator. If it is someone
    who agrees with me, the fact that he agrees with me makes him useless
    as an arbitrator. If it is someone who agrees with neither of us, the
    fact that he agrees with neither of us makes him useless as an
    arbitrator. If it is someone that agrees with both of us, the fact
    that he agrees with both of us makes him useless as an arbitrator. So
    then you and I can never reach an understanding. Are we then to go on
    piling arbitrator on arbitrator in the hope that someone will
    eventually settle the matter? This would lead to the dilemma of the
    Reformation and the Sage. (1)"

    Chuang Tzu

    (1) Deadlock.

    ---------------------

    "Take the case of some words. I do not know which of them are in
    any way connected with reality or which are not at all connected with
    reality. If some that are so connected and some that are not so
    connected are connected with one another, then as regards truth or
    falsehood the former cease to be any different from the latter.
    However, just as an experiment, I will now say them: `If there was a
    beginning, there must have been a time before the beginning began, and
    if there was a time before the beginning began, there must have been a
    time before the time before the beginning began. If there is being,
    there is also not-being. If there was a time before there began to be
    any not-being, there must also have been a time before the time before
    there began to be any not-being.' But here am I, talking about being
    and not-being and still do not know whether it is being that exists
    and not-being that does not exist, or being that does not exist and
    not-being that really exists! I have spoken, and do not know whether
    I have said something that means anything or said nothing that has any
    meaning at all."

    Chuang Tzu

    ---------------------

    "Existence, then, is not to be taken here as a predicate or as a
    determination of essence, the proposition of which would run: essence exists,
    or has existence; on the contrary, essence has passed over into Existence;
    Existence is essence's absolute emptying of itself or self-alienation, nor has
    it remained behind on the side of it. The proposition should therefore run:
    essence is existence; it is not distinct from its Existence. Essence has
    passed over into Existence in so far as essence as ground no longer
    distinguishes itself from itself as the grounded, or in so far as this ground
    has sublated itself. But this negation is essentially its position, or
    absolute positive continuity with itself, its identity-with-self achieved in
    its negation."

    Hegel


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    WALTER LIPPMANN 1889-
    I doubt whether the student can do a greater work for his nation in this
    grave moment of its history than to detach himself from its preoccupations,
    refusing to let himself be absorbed by distractions about which, as a scholar,
    he can do almost nothing.

    The Scholar in a Troubled World, (1932)


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    LAURENCE STERNE 1713-1768
    It is the nature of an hypothesis, when once a man has conceived
    it, that it assimilates every thing to itself, as proper nourishment;
    and, from the first moment of your begetting it, it generally
    grows the stronger by every thing you see, hear, read, or understand.
    This is of great use.
    bk.ii, ch.19

    ALEXANDER POPE 1688-1744
    Like following life thro' creatures you dissect,
    You lose it in the moment you detect.


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    SIR JOHN BETJEMAN 1906-
    `Let us not speak, for the love we bear one another--
    Let us hold hands and look.'
    She, such a very ordinary little woman;
    He, such a thumping crook;
    But both, for a moment, little lower than the angels
    In the teashop's ingle-nook.
    --In a Bath Teashop.

    JEAN-PIERRE CLARIS DE FLORIAN 1755-1794
    Plaisir d'amour ne dure qu'un moment,
    Chagrin d'amour dure toute la vie.

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    WILLIAM BLAKE 1757-1827
    Everything that lives,
    Lives not alone, nor for itself.
    xi.26

    HENRY JAMES 1843-1916
    Experience is never limited, and it is never complete; it is
    an immense sensibility, a kind of huge spider-web of the finest
    silken threads suspended in the chamber of consciousness, and
    catching every air-borne particle in its tissue.

    JOHN DONNE 1571-1631
    No man is an Island, entire of it self; every man is a piece
    of the Continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away
    by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were,
    as well as if a manor of thy friends or of thine own were; any
    man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankind;
    And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It
    tolls for thee.
    Meditation XVII

    MATTHEW ARNOLD 1822-1888
    This truth --- to prove, and make thine own:
    `Thou hast been, shalt be, art, alone.'
    Isolation. To Marguerite, l.29

    FRENCH
    Le monde est plein de fous, et qui n'en veut pas voir
    Doit se tenir tout seul, et casser son miroir.
    The world is full of fools, and he who would not see it should
    live alone and smash his mirror.
    An adaptation from an original form attr. to Claude Le Petit
    (1640-1665) in Discours Satiriques, 1686


    ---------------------


    JOHN KEATS 1795-1821
    Negative Capability, that is, when a man is capable of being
    in uncertainties, mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching
    after fact and reason--Coleridge, for instance, would let go by
    a fine isolated verisimilitude caught from the Penetralium of
    mystery, from being incapable of remaining content with half-knowledge.

    RICHARD BARNFIELD 1574-1627
    Nothing more certain than incertainties;
    Fortune is full of fresh variety:
    Constant in nothing but inconstancy.
    The Shepherd's Content, xi


    ---------------------


    Ithaka

    When you start on your journey to Ithaka,
    then pray that the road is long,
    full of adventure, full of knowledge.
    Do not fear the Lestrygonians
    and the Cyclopes and the angry Poseidon.
    You will never meet such as these on your path,
    if your thoughts remain lofty, if a fine
    emotion touches your body and your spirit.
    You will never meet the Lestrygonians,
    the Cyclopes and the fierce Poseidon,
    if you do not carry them within your soul,
    if your soul does not raise them up before you.

    Then pray that the road is long.
    That the summer mornings are many,
    that you will enter ports seen for the first time
    with such pleasure, with such joy!
    Stop at Phoenician markets,
    and purchase fine merchandise,
    mother-of-pearl and corals, amber and ebony,
    and pleasurable perfumes of all kinds,
    buy as many pleasurable perfumes as you can;
    visit hosts of Egyptian cities,
    to learn and learn from those who have knowledge.

    Always keep Ithaka fixed in your mind.
    To arrive there is your ultimate goal.
    But do not hurry the voyage at all.
    It is better to let it last for long years;
    and even to anchor at the isle when you are old,
    rich with all that you have gained on the way,
    not expecting that Ithaka will offer you riches.

    Ithaka has given you the beautiful voyage.
    Without her you would never have taken the road.
    But she has nothing more to give you.

    And if you find her poor, Ithaka has not defrauded you.
    With the great wisdom you have gained, with so much experience,
    you must surely have understood by then what Ithakas mean.


    Constantine Cavafy
    1911

    ---------------------

  • % Here's the bidding sheet you were asking about.
    % It's in Plain TeX format, I think. Disclaimer: I did not make up these
    % conventions. They are taken from from the book "Basic Bridge in Three
    % Weeks" by Alan Truscott, bridge editor for the New York Times. They are
    % largely `Standard American', if there is such a thing, but some aspects
    % may not be what you are used to, e.g. the requirement to have a 6-card
    % suit for an unsupported rebid.
    %
    % -- Miller
    %
    \newdimen\unit \unit=10pt

    \parskip=0pt
    \parindent=1pc

    \def\category#1\par{\bigbreak\leftline{\bf#1}\nobreak\smallskip}
    \def\bid#1{\par\noindent\hbox to 4pc{\hfil#1\hfil\ }\ignorespaces}

    \def\n{NT}
    \def\s{$\spadesuit$}
    \def\h{$\heartsuit$}
    \def\d{$\diamondsuit$}
    \def\c{$\clubsuit$}
    \def\+{$^{+}$}
    \def\-{$^{-}$}


    \category Evaluating your hand

    First count {\sl high card points\/}: ace${}=4$, king${}=3$,
    queen${}=2$, and jack${}=1$. When opening, or when a fit has been
    found, add {\sl assets\/}: void${}=2$, singleton${}=1$, and each
    5\+-card suit $=$ 1 point. Assets double with a 9-card fit, triple
    with a 10-card fit, etc.

    A partnership usually needs 26\+ points for game in notrump or
    a major suit, 29\+ points for game in a minor, 33\+ for a small
    slam, and 37\+ for a grand slam.

    Bid cautiously if short of aces and tens, or with high cards mainly in
    short suits; bid aggressively with several aces and tens, or with high
    cards mainly in long suits (or partner's suits).

    With a bid on your right, strength in that suit becomes stronger,
    and weakness becomes weaker. With a bid on your left, strength in
    that suit becomes weaker.


    \bigskip\hrule
    \category Opening bids

    \bid{1\n} 16--18 points, balanced hand
    \bid{2\n} 21--22 points, balanced hand
    \bid{2\c} 23\+ points; forcing to game
    \bid{1\h,1\s} 13\+ points, 5\+ cards in suit
    \bid{1\d,1\c} 13\+ points, 3\+ cards in suit
    \bid{2\d,2\h,2\s} 6--12 points, good 6-card suit
    \bid{3 of suit} 6--12 points, good 7-card suit
    \bid{Pass} 0--12 points, no good 6\+-card suit
    \smallskip

    Order of preference for suit bids: bid a 5\+-card major or a 4\+ card
    minor, the longer the better; with equal-length suits bid the higher
    ranking; if necessary bid a 3-card minor, clubs preferred.

    All opening suit bids above 2\c\ are weak. The level is generally the
    length of the suit minus four but varies a little with vulnerability and
    strength of suit.


    \category Overcalls and takeout doubles

    This table assumes that the opening bid was 1\h. Numbers preceding a
    slash apply when not vulnerable; numbers following the slash apply when
    vulnerable.

    \smallskip
    \bid{1\s} 10/13--16 points, 5\+ spades
    \bid{2\c,2\d} 13--16 points, 5/6\+-card suit
    \bid{2\s} 6/8--12 points, 6\+ spades
    \bid{3\c,3\d} 6/8--12 points, 7\+-card suit
    \bid{1\n} 16--18 points, balanced, \h\ stopper
    \bid{Dbl} 13\+ points, 3\+ cards in \c,\d,\s; forcing
    \bid{Dbl} 17\+ points, any distribution; forcing
    \smallskip

    {\sl Takeout doubles\/}: A double of a low-level suit bid is for
    takeout if your partner has not bid. All other doubles are for
    penalties.

    When overcalling in a suit, strength of the suit is important:
    tend to pass if your suit is weak.


    \bigskip\hrule
    \category Responses to 1\n\ (or 2\n)

    \bid{Pass} 0--7 points, no 5\+-card suit
    \bid{2\d,2\h,2\s} 0--7 points, 5\+-card suit; stopping
    \bid{3\h,3\s} 10\+ points, 5-card suit; forcing
    \bid{4\h,4\s} 10--14 points, 6\+-card suit; stopping
    \bid{2\c} Stayman: 8\+ points and a 4\+-card major
    \bid{2\n} 8--9 points, no 4\+-card major; invites 3\n
    \bid{3\n} 10--14 points, no 4\+-card major; stopping
    \bid{3\c,3\d} 15\+ points, 5\+ cards; suggests slam
    \bid{4\c} slam interest; asks for aces
    \bid{4\n} 15--16 points; invites 6\n
    \smallskip

    A bid of 3\h\ or 3\s\ requests opener to raise to game with
    3\+-card support, and otherwise bid 3\n.

    {\sl Stayman convention\/}: After a response of 2\c, opener
    must bid a 4\+-card major if he has one, and otherwise bid 2\d.

    Responses to 2\n\ are similar, but responder needs 4 fewer points.
    (A response of 3\c\ is Stayman; 3\d\ is natural; 3\h\ and 3\s\ are
    encouraging.)


    \category Responses to 1 of a suit

    This table assumes the opening bid was 1\h. If overcalled, say by 1\s,
    then 2\s\ promises 13\+ points and is forcing, and notrump bids require
    a \s\ stopper. After a takeout double, a redouble shows 10\+ high card
    points; other bids deny 10\+ HCP.

    \smallskip
    \bid{Pass} 0--5 points
    \bid{2\h} 6--9 points, 3\+-card support
    \bid{3\h} 10--12 points, 4\+-card support; invites 4\h
    \bid{4\h} 13\+ points, 4\+-card support, few HCP
    \bid{1\s} 6\+ points, 4\+ spades; forcing
    \bid{2\s} 17\+ points, 4\+ spades; suggests slam
    \bid{1\n} 6--9 points (8--10 if overcalled), 0--2 hearts
    \bid{2\n} 13--15 points, balanced, strength in \c,\d,\s
    \bid{3\n} Like 2\n, but 16--18 points
    \bid{2\c,2\d} 10\+ points, 4\+ cards in suit; forcing
    \bid{3\c,3\d} 17\+ points, 4\+ cards; slam interest
    \smallskip

    Responses to 1 of another suit are similar, but 2\h\ over 1\s\
    promises 5\+ cards as well as 10\+ points. Raises of a minor suit
    require 4\+-card support (usually 5) and deny a 4\+-card major.

    When changing suits, bid your longest suit; bid the higher-ranking with
    two 5-card suits; bid cheaply with 4-card suits.


    \category Responses to an overcall

    When the opponents open the bidding, almost any bid is natural and
    non-forcing. An exception is the {\sl cue-bid\/} in the enemy suit
    which indicates enough strength for game and is therefore forcing.
    Be aggressive if vulnerable, for partner is being cautious; likewise,
    be cautious if not vulnerable.


    \category Responses to a takeout double

    This table assumes the bidding was 1\d--Dbl--Pass. If your right-hand
    opponent bids, you may pass with a weak hand.

    \smallskip
    \bid{1\h,1\s,2\c} 0--8 points, longest suit
    \bid{2\h,2\s,3\c} 9--11 points, usually 5\+-card suit
    \bid{4\h,4\s} 26\+ points combined, 6\+-card suit
    \bid{1\n} 6--9 points, no 4\+-card major, \d\ stopper
    \bid{2\n} Like 1\n, but 10--12 points
    \bid{3\n} Like 1\n, but 13--16 points
    \bid{2\d} 26\+ points combined; forcing
    \bid{Pass} Long and strong \d


    \category Responses to 2\c

    \bid{2\h,2\s} good 5\+-card suit, 8\+ points
    \bid{3\c,3\d} good 5\+-card suit, 8\+ points
    \bid{2\n} balanced hand, 8\+ points
    \bid{2\d} usually 0--7 points

    \smallskip Any bid other than 2\d\ suggests slam; partners must
    continue until they reach slam or can rule it out.


    \category Responses to a weak opening bid

    Think about what your opponents can make. Tend to bid with 3\+-card
    support; tend to pass with a singleton or void. To bid a new suit, it
    must be very long and strong; such bids are forcing. A bid of 2\n\ is
    artificial; it asks partner to rebid his suit with a minimum hand, or
    bid something else with a maximum hand.


    \bigskip\hrule
    \category Rebids by opener

    This table assumes the bidding was 1\d--Pass--1\s--Pass. If partner's
    bid was a minor, raises are not preferred. If partner's bid was 1\n,
    then 2\n\ shows 17--18 points and invites 3\n.

    \smallskip
    \bid{2\s} 16\- points, 4\+ spades (perhaps 3)
    \bid{3\s} 17--19 points, 4\+-card support
    \bid{4\s} 20\+ points, 4\+-card support
    \bid{1\n} Minimum notrump: 15\- points, balanced
    \bid{2\n} Jump in notrump: 19--20 points, balanced
    \bid{2\c} 19\- points, 4\+ clubs
    \bid{2\h} Reverse: 17\+ points, 4 hearts
    \bid{3\c,3\h} Jump shift: 20\+ points, 4\+-card suit
    \bid{2\d} 16\- points, 6\+ diamonds
    \bid{3\d} 17--19 points, 6\+ diamonds
    \smallskip

    If partner cannot return to your first suit at the 2-level, you
    promise 17\+ points (except after 1\d--2\c). A jump in a new suit is
    forcing to game, and is the only forcing rebid except for cue-bids.

    {\sl Important rule\/}: Bidding your first suit twice, before your
    partner has supported it, requires 6\+ cards.


    \category Rebids by responder

    This table assumes that the bidding was 1\c--1\h--1\s, with the
    opponents silent. Responses to other rebids by opener are similar;
    opener has described his hand, and responder can either choose
    the final contract, invite game (by bidding 2\n, 3\h, 3\s, 4\c, or
    4\d), or head for slam.

    \smallskip
    \bid{Pass} 6--7 points, 3\+ spades
    \bid{2\c} more clubs than spades
    \bid{2\h} 6--9 points, 6\+ hearts
    \bid{2\s} 6--9 points, 4\+ spades
    \bid{1\n} 6--9 points, no fit, some \d\ strength
    \bid{3\s} 10--12 points, 4\+ spades
    \bid{3\h} 10--12 points, 6\+ hearts
    \bid{3\c} 10--12 points, 4\+ clubs
    \bid{2\n} 10--12 points, some \d\ strength
    \bid{4\s} 13--16 points, exactly 4 spades
    \bid{3\n} 13--16 points, some \d\ strength
    \bid{4\h} 13--16 points, usually 7\+ hearts
    \bid{2\d} 13\+ points, 4\+ diamonds; forcing
    \smallskip

    Rebidding your suit before partner has supported it
    promises 6\+ cards.

    Delayed support for partner's suit (as in 1\s--2\c--2\h--2\s, opponents
    silent) usually shows exactly 3 cards.


    \category Slam bidding

    Bid a slam directly with a good fit and 33\+ points together, provided
    that the opponents cannot take the first two tricks with high cards.

    When a fit has been found, a bid in a new suit indicates control of
    that suit, usually the ace. Any suits skipped are weak. Partner can
    bid slam with control of those suits, bid another suit to show
    control, or sign off by returning to the trump suit at the cheapest
    level.

    {\sl Blackwood convention\/}: Except in a notrump contract, a bid of
    4\n\ asks for aces: a response of 5\c\ shows 0 or 4 aces, 5\d\ shows 1
    ace, 5\h\ shows 2, and 5\s\ shows 3. A subsequent bid of 5\n\ asks
    for kings in the same way. Do not bid Blackwood with a void, or when
    the opponents might take the first two tricks in an unbid suit.

    \bye
  • RECEIVED FROM AN ENGLISH PROFESSOR AT SMU:

    This assignment was actually turned in by two of my English
    students:

    Rebecca <last name deleted> and Gary <last name deleted>

    English 44A

    Creative Writing


    Prof. Miller

    In-class Assignment for Wednesday

    Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story.
    The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person
    sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write
    the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first
    paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first
    person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth.

    Remember to reread what has been written each time in order
    to keep the story coherent. The story is over when both agree
    a conclusion has been reached.

    REBECCA -

    At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted.
    The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings
    at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in
    happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must
    now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was
    suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma
    started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

    GARY -

    Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack
    squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to
    think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
    Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago.
    "A.S.Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic
    communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so
    far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed
    out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay.
    The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and
    across the cockpit.

    REBECCA -

    He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before
    he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing
    the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards,
    Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful
    farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War
    and Space Travel" Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The
    news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the
    window, dreaming of her youth -- when the days had passed unhurriedly
    and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract
    her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things
    around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?"
    she pondered wistfully.

    GARY -

    Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds to live.
    Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership
    launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The
    dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
    Disarmament Treaty through Congress had left Earth a defenseless
    target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy
    the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the
    Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower
    to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they
    swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile
    entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret
    mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of
    Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion which vaporized Laurie
    and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the
    conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that
    treaty! Let's blow'em out of the sky!"

    REBECCA -

    This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature.
    My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate
    adolescent.

    GARY -

    Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose
    attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.

    REBECCA -

    Asshole.

    GARY -

    Bitch.
  • STUDENT EVALUATIONS

    Then Jesus took his disciples up the mountain and, gathering them around
    him, he taught them, saying:

    Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
    Blessed are the meek, blessed are they that mourn, blessed are the
    merciful, blessed are they that thirst for justice, blessed are you when
    persecuted, blessed are you when you suffer. Be glad and rejoice, for your
    reward is great in heaven.

    Then Simon Peter said, "Are we supposed to know this?" And Andrew said,
    "Do we have to write this down?" And Philip said, "I don't have any paper."
    And Bartholomew said, "Do we have to turn this in?" And James said, "Will
    we have a test on this?" And John said, "The other disciples didn't have to
    learn this." And Matthew said, "May I go to the bathroom?" And Judas said ,
    "What does this have to do with real life?" Then one of the Pharisees, who
    was present, asked to see Jesus' lesson plan and inquired of Jesus, "Where
    is your anticipatory set and your objectives in the cognitive domain?"

    And Jesus wept.

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