Answers to Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) on HomeSchooling
Frank Vahid, 4/02

My wife and I have been homeschooling our children since 1995. Reactions to this fact have certainly changed over the years -- from "Is that legal?" to "My [friend/relative] homeschools too," and sometimes even "We've been thinking of doing that." The questions asked of us over those years though have been quite consistent. I thought I would write down some of those questions and our typical answers, in case others are interested.

Q: What about socialization? (This is BY FAR the most commonly asked question).
A: Say we were starting from scratch (there were no schools yet), and we wanted to set up an environment to socialize our kids. Would we set up an environment of age-segregated groups of 30 kids spending 6-7 hours a day together? Doubtful, unless we intended for them to spend their adult lives in such age-segregated groups too. Instead, we'd probably want to expose our kids to a variety of ages -- some same-age, some older, some younger. And we'd probably want them spending time in groups of varying sizes -- pairs, small groups, and larger groups.

Parents of homeschooling children need to be sure to expose kids to such variety, so probably need to be rather outgoing themselves. There are plenty of socialization opportunies outside of school: sports teams, neighborhood kids, religious communities, extended family (who, by the way, you have more time to visit), and growing classroom options, like homeschooling parents who pool their resources to organize optional classes one day a week, something we've participated in.

Many things we consider "normal" stages of social development, like the strong rebellion, widespread consumption of alchohol, and experimentation with drugs and sex during the teenage years, are likely not normal at all, but rather products of mass schooling. Likewise, kids brutally teasing kids with physical or mental problems is not normal human behavior in my opinion, but a product of the school environment -- and extremely saddening.

Keep in mind that parents have a great influence on their homeschooled kids, and thus need to be well-adapted to society. Homeschooling is NOT for everybody.

Q: But kids need to live in the "real world."
A: School is not at all like the real world, at least not the world of most college-educated people. People are expected to be independent. Coworkers are expected to respect each other. Employees don't advance in their jobs unless they actually accomplish something. Playing sports doesn't make them popular or successful. Once a kid graduates from high school, their world changes drastically. The things that make you popular and successful in high-school don't work in the real world.

Q: I could never homeschool, because my kids never do what I tell them.
A: That's because they're not homeschooled.

Q: Isn't homeschooling hard?
A: Regular school has its challenges: getting all your kids on the same track, dealing with a bad teacher, attending PTA meetings and raising funds, dealing with problems with other students, getting your kids to and from school everyday, dealing with disease outbreaks, scheduling your lives around school breaks, helping with homework and projects when you don't have much time (that schools still give homework after keeping your kids for 6-7 hours is amazing!), etc. In fact, the flexibility of homeschooling is a tremendous benefit -- especially if you have the opportunity to travel, visit family, etc. Of course, having your kids (or anybody for that matter) around all the time can sometimes be a challenge. And having a larger responsibility for their education is a challenge, but there is plenty of help available these days, including books, web resources, parent groups, and programs that offer oversight by experienced teachers.

Q: How can you spend 6-7 hours with your kids 5 days a week on schoolwork?
A: A typical day in a regular school consists of about 2-2.5 hours of actual education. The rest is shuffling the kids around, non-educational activities, and dead time. So matching regular school is easy. Also, homeschool kids learn to learn on their own, and don't require nearly as much handholding (one of the biggest challenges I face as a college professor is untraining new students, who believe they are to be *taught* rather than believing they are to *learn*). A typical homeschooling day may consist of telling the kids what to work on, and then answering questions now and then, perhaps only taking a couple hours. Furthermore, schools and textbooks don't have a monopoly on education. Homeschool parents tend to take advantage of learning opportunities in everyday life to explain things (e.g., "why did our water bottle shrink as we drove down the mountain?") -- learning is a natural and fun part of life. They also have more time to take advantage of local museums and other educational resources. Many aspects of education (history, social studies, science) are largely taught through normal conversation without the kids or parents thinking this is part of "school." In fact, even kids who attend regular school learn many of those subjects outside of school.

Q: But many people can't homeschool because [they work / aren't educated / don't want to / etc.]
A: Fine, so those people don't have to homeschool. Like in most other things, *variety* in schooling would make sense. For historical reasons, when compulsory schooling began in the late 1800's in the U.S. (by the way, the school system we know today is relatively new in human history), lack of variety, namely making everyone attend, was considered necessary for a variety of reasons -- "Americanizing" new immigrants, keeping kids out of the labor market, training the masses to work in mind-numbing jobs of the new industrial age, etc.. Today, variety is heavily resisted by the existing massive administration and staff that rely on the school system for their jobs.
Ideally, there would be a variety of schooling situations that take advantage of each family's situation. If a parent is able and willing to take an active role in educating their kids, it makes sense to capitalize on that. Right now, regular school is all-or-nothing -- you are either in or out.

Q: You and I went to regular school and we turned out just fine.
A: I have a friend who's parents were alcoholic and she turned out just fine. I know people who fought in wars and they turned out just fine. That doesn't mean that having parents who are alcoholic and fighting in wars are good for us. Today's schools might be likened to minefields -- we may come out just fine, but we have to watch our step very carefully. We may have came out just fine *despite* our schooling, not *because* of our schooling.

Q: I know a homeschool kid who is turning out very [shy / wierd / etc.]
A: And we know regular school kids who are [shy / weird / etc.]. So this says very little. At least in our experience, if we had to compare homeschool kids to regular school kids, homeschool kids ON THE AVERAGE seem more mature, more able to converse with people of all ages and not just their own age group, are more advanced in their studies, and are more independent and self-assured. But of course, there are successes and less-than-successes in both systems.

Q: What about college?
A: First of all, many if not most home schooling approaches DO result in high school transcripts. Home schooling is not (usually) "under the table." Students are enrolled in recognized programs.

Colleges are beginning to recognize that homeschooled kids tend to make fantastic college students -- they tend to be mature and self-motivated. Top schools are beginning to aggressively seek homeschooled kids. As a college professor myself, I've noticed that college students have major adjustment problems. The high school "herd" environment does not prepare kids for the self-reliance required for success in college. Satisfying high-school requirements does take knowledge of the rules, but again, there's help for that.

Also, four years of high school is longer than many kids need. Many kids finish (homeschooled or not) in three years with no problem at all (not outrageously intelligent kids, but just mature). By homeschooling, high-school age kids can easily enroll in community college courses, and thus not only finish high-school early, but even have college credits under the belt. Don't mistake this as pushing kids to be super-achievers; in contrast, by removing the artificial restraints imposed by regular school, many kids just naturally progress faster.

As a college professor, I have found students have not learned how to learn. Rather, they expect to be taught, an attitude that is not going to lead to success in today's rapidly changing, highly innovative world.

Q: But a modern global workforce requires some standards be met, which can only be achieved through the school system.
A: Standards and training methods are different things. We can still meet standards while using different training methods. And we all know that training methods vary *tremendously* among schools scattered throughout 50 states in the U.S.

Q: So why do you homeschool?
A: The main reason is family. Having to send kids to school for 6-7 hours a day for nearly 200 days a year when a child reaches the age of 5 to the age of 18 is, to put it mildly, too much. School keeps kids for far far longer than we feel is necessary for our kids (school has many unspoken purposes OTHER than education). Raising a family is a fundamental part of life, and that requires that you have adequate time with your kids. While it is possible to spend adequate time with your kids while they attend regular school, it's a whole lot simpler when you homeschool.

Another reason is that schools tend to dampen the enthusiasm for learning. This is mostly due to the fact that they have to manage large numbers of students, many of whom are disciplinary problems. Thus, students can't progress at their own rate. Furthermore, schools tend to give menial tedious work as a management technique. Students don't learn a love and thirst for learning.

A third reason is that the school environment exposes kids to many perils -- from name calling to things as extreme as drugs, violence and massive alcohol consumption. After high-school, college-bound kids can easily avoid such perils in their college life and beyond while living pleasant social lives -- assuming they've learned to be independent.

In short, we hope that homeschooling becomes an option that is not merely accepted by our present school system, but supported.